I have done a lot of shopping since Rob and I got married, but I think I might have made the best six dollar investment thus far in our marriage (which actually ended up being free because I had a coupon). It’s a card game called Trivial Pursuit: Steal. Let me tell you, this game over the past three days has already provided hours of entertainment, intellectual discussions, and brought out the most obnoxious competitive sides in both of us. I have felt sorry for our neighbors that live on the floor beneath us with all of our playful yelling.
Last night, there was a particular notable moment. I got a question asking me what the name was of the Naked Chef. Me being the cooking amateur that I am of course own his cookbook. So I screamed at the top of my lungs, “JAMIE OLIVER!” and proceeded to take the point. Then I was so excited that I owned the cookbook that I went and got it and brought it back to the table to show Rob. He, of course, could have cared less. So, I put the cookbook on the chair next to me and we continued on with the game.
In our next round, Rob ended up getting the question about the Naked Chef. Once he realized that the book was next to me, I had to sit on top of it and kick Rob away to keep from trying to cheat. The whole time I kept telling him, “If only you would have listened to begin with you would know!” After a good fight, which I won, he guessed James Dean. I then got the point again for knowing the answer because he didn’t.
It really just goes to show that it is important to learn about your spouse’s interests. Not just because it might get you a random point in Trivial Pursuit or on a game show if you are lucky, but because it means a lot to your spouse. Not everyone automatically shares the same interests. My husband is interested in movies and politics, and I am a fan of cooking and working out. Someone could easily look at that and say, “Oh well. Guess we will just do our own thing.” But in reality, I think it means so much more when you have to go the extra mile to participate in your spouse’s interest. It shows that you are making an effort and that you truly care. You shouldn’t spend your time doing different things. That isn’t what builds a marriage. Quite the contrary, that’s what tears a marriage down.
Rob and I made a list of six things we want to do together every week. I got to pick three and Rob got to pick three. Of course we can do more than these six things, but these particular six are our favorite things to do and what we would like our spouse to participate in with us. I must say that it is going pretty well. It helps for us to continually spend time together and keep each of us satisfied so that we don’t feel like we are ‘always doing what the other person wants to do.’
On the seventh day of the week, we try to always have a date night. We may not always go out and spend money, but we will always do something together. Sometimes the weeks are too busy and date night gets overlooked, but we try to not let this happen.
Keeping interest in your marriage is crucial. It helps you to communicate with each other better, have fun, and not stress. I suggest you give it a try.
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